OMG… I joined Tinder

https://pixabay.com/users/terimakasih0-624267/

Ah, Tinder, the app that is notorious for one night stands and casual hookups. The app that says, “I am single, now I am ready to take my pants off.” Or so I have always thought.

I could ramble on to justify why I finally decided to take on the well-known “dating” app, but I won’t. Instead, I will compile a dot point list:

    • I was curious.
    • It had been ages since I went on a date.
    • To meet new people.
    • To step out of my comfort zone.

Notice none of the above mentions “To get a boyfriend,” or “To get laid.” To tell the truth, I was terrified of joining the app. Mortified at the idea of choosing which men to swipe left and swipe right to, as well as what they thought of me being on the site. Perhaps they will think that I only want to have sex. Maybe they will think that I am easy? 

With all those fears in mind. I joined. I am all about stretching my comfort zone lately. I signed up, selected a few photos from my facebook, read the quick tutorial, which was pretty basic. Then I was presented with the first person to which I had to decide based on looks, which direction to swipe.

For a good thirty seconds, which felt like a lifetime, I had no idea what to do. If I swipe one way, I was judging someone based on their looks, if I swipe the other way, well, the same thing… I felt uncomfortable for the requirement to be so shallow in that moment. I wanted to be able to come back to that picture and decide later, see what I was comparing them to, but the only way to see the next picture is to give them a swipe. So I decided that I would swipe left on my first one. Sorry.

After a few swipes in, it became easier, and I started to realize why people meet less organically anymore. Meeting new people and learning about each other is nerve-racking. So why not by-pass that and get to know each other online? It is so easy to ignore someone online and to hide our crazy personalities behind a screen or phone.  It is also so easy to think about what you are going to say before you say it, or in most cases like the tinder app… type it.

Meeting new people is hard. Picture this… You see a good looking guy with a wonderful smile on the other side of the cafe, sipping coffee. You catch a glance and smile back. It is on, he gets up from his seat and makes his way closer, then proceeds to walk past you, out the door. He didn’t even try to start up a conversation with you. Why? Because why put in the effort to go and strike up a conversation with you, if he already has a thousand other potential women at his finger-tips. He was probably too busy talking to three at a time.

It takes all the work out of it, which I think is good in one way, it levels the playing field, but it is also damaging. Humans nowadays are so used to everything being so easy, we have machines and technology that make our lives easier. Like washing the dishes, driving to work, getting take out. Everything is so easy, that we believe that dating and relationships are also supposed to be easy. 

Ask your grandparents, even your parents. Relationships’ take work. Even the relationships you have with your friends require work to maintain, and since we live in a society where we almost don’t have to work for anything, dating and relationships have become one of those things that we give up on as soon as it gets difficult. I am all for walking away when its the right thing to do, to feel safe, but I also believe in giving it a good go and not just giving in when you have a disagreement about pineapple on pizza.

One good thing about apps like Tinder, is it takes out a lot of the guesswork out of meeting single guys (or want to be single guys). If you have ever lived where I do, you would understand that most guys that are remotely attractive, nice, or even close to someone that you would see yourself dating, the chances are… they are taken or not interested. Tinder at least you know that the guys on there are either single and looking to meet new people, or looking for a good time (single or not). It also only lets you talk to people that have also swiped right on you too. It sure beats going up to a guy and asking them out, only to find that they have a missus. It avoids any, if not all embarrassment. 

That being said, I do want to practice meeting people organically in the near future. In an attempt to stretch my comfort zone, It is on my to-do list, for this single life experiment.

So for now, I am having fun talking to new people, checking out their profiles, and deciding on whether or not I would like to get to know them better. Hopefully, in my next entry, I will have a few stories to tell you. Until then, stay safe and happy dating!

Jessi

 

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